Things that weigh heavy

Here we are the first day of December. . . where has this year gone? It seems the older I get the faster the years go by. Before you know it Christmas will have come and gone and we will welcome in 2010. Thoughts of the past have been on my mind recently. There are some things that I would change and then others that I would do the same way. But reality is that I can't turn back time I can only learn from the mistakes and cherish the memories and try to pass along the things I've learned to my children. Right now, the things I am trying to teach and pass on to them may seem unimportant, but I know that the day is coming that they will look back and say, "She was right, she wasn't crazy after all."

During the Thanksgiving holidays this year I missed my extended family more than I have in past years. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed cooking and spending time with the kids but I truly missed being with my dad, brothers, sister and their families. It's been too long since we were all together. David mentioned the other day that he kept hearing people talking about how many people would be at their house for Thanksgiving and how they love it, but he had never experienced it. It made me think about how much they have missed out on living so far from the rest of our family and it made me appreciate the sense of closeness I had growing up with family.

I read tonight about a man that came from a broken home. Like my children, he didn't have a father in the home, and his home had abuse, turmoil and fighting. So often we read stories where children from broken homes continue the cycle generation after generation. But this story ended differently, that young man surrendered his life to Christ and today he has a family of his own. Praise God the cycle of family destruction was changed into a life of love, happiness and forgiveness in his life.

I cannot argue that divorce takes it toil on our children. I often worry that my children, as adults, will go through divorce or bitterness because of them coming from a broken home. Some days are tougher than others, but through prayer I get through those days and trust that God will do the same work in their hearts that he did in mine. The toughest of days is when I see myself in the two of them and the instant reaction is to protect them from making the mistakes that I made. But I'm coming to realize that they too have to learn just as I did. God has given them into my care to guide, direct, teach and protect but ultimately He is in control. I continue to show them love, set boundaries, and discipline,and all the while commit them to the Father who is much more capable of parenting than I will ever be. In the end they, like their mother, will have some bumps, bruises and even some scars to remind them of the choices they made, but I above all I pray they will turn out to be a man and a woman that glorifies the Father.