FLW 2010

Watched the sunrise this morning over Lake O and the FLW fishermen begin the tournament. It was chilly out and my hands were numb after taking pictures, but it was well worth it.

Things that weigh heavy

Here we are the first day of December. . . where has this year gone? It seems the older I get the faster the years go by. Before you know it Christmas will have come and gone and we will welcome in 2010. Thoughts of the past have been on my mind recently. There are some things that I would change and then others that I would do the same way. But reality is that I can't turn back time I can only learn from the mistakes and cherish the memories and try to pass along the things I've learned to my children. Right now, the things I am trying to teach and pass on to them may seem unimportant, but I know that the day is coming that they will look back and say, "She was right, she wasn't crazy after all."

During the Thanksgiving holidays this year I missed my extended family more than I have in past years. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed cooking and spending time with the kids but I truly missed being with my dad, brothers, sister and their families. It's been too long since we were all together. David mentioned the other day that he kept hearing people talking about how many people would be at their house for Thanksgiving and how they love it, but he had never experienced it. It made me think about how much they have missed out on living so far from the rest of our family and it made me appreciate the sense of closeness I had growing up with family.

I read tonight about a man that came from a broken home. Like my children, he didn't have a father in the home, and his home had abuse, turmoil and fighting. So often we read stories where children from broken homes continue the cycle generation after generation. But this story ended differently, that young man surrendered his life to Christ and today he has a family of his own. Praise God the cycle of family destruction was changed into a life of love, happiness and forgiveness in his life.

I cannot argue that divorce takes it toil on our children. I often worry that my children, as adults, will go through divorce or bitterness because of them coming from a broken home. Some days are tougher than others, but through prayer I get through those days and trust that God will do the same work in their hearts that he did in mine. The toughest of days is when I see myself in the two of them and the instant reaction is to protect them from making the mistakes that I made. But I'm coming to realize that they too have to learn just as I did. God has given them into my care to guide, direct, teach and protect but ultimately He is in control. I continue to show them love, set boundaries, and discipline,and all the while commit them to the Father who is much more capable of parenting than I will ever be. In the end they, like their mother, will have some bumps, bruises and even some scars to remind them of the choices they made, but I above all I pray they will turn out to be a man and a woman that glorifies the Father.

How Does This Happen

I was looking at Wink News website this morning and came across this headline, "Baby dies after being left in hot car." Turns out that a 22 month old girl died from being in her parent's car that was parked in the hot Florida sun.

As I read the news article I was horrifed to find out that the parents had been painting in the garage while their four children (ages 7, 6,5, and 22 months) played outside. Appartenly the 22 month old child likes to ride in the car and loves her booster seat. It seems that the child got in the car without the parents knowing. They didn't discover her until the mom went out some 30 minutes later to go to the store with two of the older children.

Here are the questions that I find myself asking:

1. How do you not miss a 22 month old child for more than 30 minutes?
2. How did that 22 month old child get in the car by herself?
3. Why haven't they been charged with neglect?

Things like this an unfathomable to me. I'm trying hard not to judge, but where were these parents?

Alex and Brett Harris are co-authors of the Rebelution blog. They are using this blog to give teenagers a biblical worldview. Recently they did a Modesty Survey and released the results on Valentine's Day. Just today I viewed the results. Having two teenagers, I realize what a struggle this is for them. The results are very interesting and I have to admit I am much more aware after reading the results. I loved the open questions in the survey and the one response I wish to pass all to all young girls especially my daughter is this one:

There is one that is more in love with you than any man can ever be. You are incredibly valuable to Him, and you never need question His commitment to Him. He thinks you're beautiful in the morning without your makeup, and He'll think you're just as beautiful when you're 80. He is Christ. In you should treat Him with the loyalty and respect of a Husband. There is no need to attract a man to you - Christ will lead the right man to you. And when someone that loves you as much as Christ arranges a marriage, you may rest assured it will be far better than anything you could have done. You are His - be content there.

Fearless Parenting

I came across this blog post yesterday and thought it was worth sharing. I could totally relate to what she had to say regarding parenting. In fact I think I may have written a post regarding Fearless Parenting, but she does a much better job.

My Space Awareness

As parents we need to be aware of the dangers our children are facing by creating blogs, personal ads, etc. It's all the rage now. One of the biggest websites being used by kids today is MySpace.com . Understand I am in no way saying that this website is wrong. However, I am saying as parents we need to be monitoring our children's use of the internet. We need to be aware if our children have a blog, a myspace profile, etc. It's not even a bad idea to check out their friend's profiles. In trying to monitor my own children's use of the internet more effectively I came across this article that I found to be quite helpful.

Parent Without Fear

Parenting can be a fearful experience. Our culture seems to think that the basic role of a parent is to protect our children. I do not totally disagree with that, however, we cannot parent in a constant state of fear. We must place our children at the feet of Jesus. He knows them much better than we do, because He made them. He loves them abundantly more than we could ever imagine. Even though we know that Romans 8:38-39 is not exculsively for us, but for is for our children as well, we hold on to our children as we possess them. Our children are a gift from God and are not our own. God has intrusted us to raise them, so whom better to seek wisdom and comfort from in raising them. We cannot raise them with a constant fear - they are not harm proof: we cannot prevent their pain, we cannot cushion them from every bit of consequence of their pain and we cannot make every decision for them. Do I worry about the choices my children will make? Absolutely! Yet, at the feet of Jesus is every answer I will ever need to raise them without fear. Some verses that help me lay that fear at His feet are:

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? "(Psalm 56:3-4) God takes care of his children. He is forever stronger than us.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9) He will be our children's constant companion.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains
quake at its swelling pride." (Psalm46: 1-3) Life may fall apart, we may apart,
our children may fall apart. Yet God promises he will be with us.

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' (Isaiah 41:10) God gives us strength in our weakness
and strengthens our children to face the world.

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " (Matthew 6:34) As parents, we often anguish about our children's future, yet God holds their future just as he holds the future of the world.

Guarding our Children

Living in small towns I have always felt that my children were safe. Even so I keep a close eye on my children and have taught them the dangers of strangers. Last night while we were at Bubba's house the two girls, Jeri Lynne and Angela came to us and asked if they could walk down the park. We told them no since it was almost dark and explained that it wasn't safe for them to go. Recently we have heard of a child getting beat up in that park by other children over a bicycle, the cleaning lady at the local library was beaten badly and another child was picked up by someone abused and dumped at the park. So we know these things happen even in small towns. They asked if they could sit in the front yard instead, to which we agreed. A few minutes later the girls came inside with a lady behind them. The lady introduced herself to Bubba and told him she knew the girls and would like them to come over to her house to watch a movie. Alarms went off with him and he politely told her "no" and she left. After questioning the girls we learned she is a teacher at the school, they know her children and this has not been the first time she has asked them to her home. We talked to the girls and once again explained that people can appear to be nice to lure children into their homes and then hurt them. To say that it left Bubba and I with an uneasy feeling is an understatement. I pray that last night will teach the girls to be on guard at all times.

A Mother's Pride

At some time or another I think every mother takes pride in her children. I am no different. But is it wrong to be proud of our children? When I see one of my children behaving in an appropriate manner, serving others, or achieving goals my heart swells with pride. Just today I was overcome with pride in my daughter. She has displayed acts of service today (not that she doesn't do it often, she does) and my heart began to swell. And as my heart began to swell, I heard a voice saying "And who are you boasting in?" It suddenly hit me. . . I was boasting in not only my child, but I was boasting in myself as well. Galatians 6:14 came to mind as I thought about this boasting. "But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the Lord has been crucified to me, and to the world." As I was meditating on this scripture I was convincted that it's not my child that deserves the glory it is Christ. For only by his grace has she been gifted to serve as she did today and other days. Yes, it's okay for me to point out to her that she did a wonderful job serving others today and that I am happy to see that gift in her, but I also need to make sure when I am encouraging her and thanking her that I point out to her that it is through Christ is willing to serve others.

Nanny 911 - Want to Learn How to Raise Perfect Kids?

I'm ordering this book! NOT But someone happens to think it might be a great resource for me and a friend. My friend was actually told that she needed to call Nanny 911 to come to straighten her and her daughter out. Not 2 hours later this same person was telling me that I needed to put a leash on my daughter. I can take criticism from anyone as long as it's done in a kind way. But I will get very defensive when you start telling me that what I am doing is not the right way it is to be done. I know as a mom I'm still learning each day and I'm always open to suggestions. In fact, I constantly seek guidance from friends, my parents, my sibilings who have older children and from God's word. And many times when I've sought others for advice it wasn't always what I wanted to hear. Sometimes it was convicting and made me examine myself and to listen to what was being said. I appreciate people being willing to give advice (even in cases where I haven't asked for it), but what I don't appreciate is someone being rude and hurtful when they do so. Even now after being the one that was made to feel like a failure I'm examining myself to see if I've done someone else like I was done. If I have I am so sorry. I want to be an encourager to others not someone that insults.

Girl Talk Review

"The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." ~ Titus 2: 3-5

From the moment I started reading "Girl Talk" I did not want to put it down. Carol Mahaney & Nicole Mahaney Whitacre wrote in straight from experience regarding the biblical Mother/Daughter relationship. Though the book was candid and humorous, the central message was straight from scripture. The first half of the book takes a look at what the Bible says about mother/daughter relationships. The second half of the book explains how a mother can teach her daughter to speak the language of biblical womanhood. I wish I had known about this book ten years ago. Every mother should have this book on her book shelf.

Examples Must Precede our Instruction

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." ~Proverbs 22:6

Thing about this scripture from J.C. Ryle's perspective: "Your children will seldom learn habits which they see you despise, or walk in paths which you do not walk yourself. [She] that preaches to [her] children what she does not practice, is working a work that never goes forward."

In other words, practice what we preach to our children (and others). Whether we care to admit it or not we are the ones [mothers] that have the greatest influence on our children. How can we expect our children to walk in the light if we ourselves are walking in darkness. It's not someone else job to train them, God has commanded us to be the trainer. Not only does he command us in Proverbs to do so, but in Philippians 3:17, "Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern. "

To borrow a quote from Carolyn Mahaney - “Let us grab our children by the hand and say to them; come, follow me into the riches of the gospel of Jesus Christ."Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.

No Mistake

I recall the first time the nurse brought David to my room after he was born and her looking down and saying, "Oops, wrong baby!" She had two male babies in their respective bassinets taking them to their mothers and as she rolled whom she thought was the "Fountain" baby into my room she realized that the name on the bassinet didn't match with my name. It's funny now that I look back on it, but at the time I was astonished that she could get the two confused. It was a honest mistake as both male babies had a head full of red hair, only ounces apart in weight and born within 15 minutes of each other. After we brought David home he developed colic. During those hours of him screaming non-stop we would jokingly exclaim,"This is not our child, they switched them at birth." Of course, we had brought our child home with us. But how many times while raising our children and struggling with issues in raising them have we proclaimed, "This isn't my child."

Make no mistake about it, God doesn't make mistakes. In fact, as I was reading "Girl Talk" yesterday Carolyn Mahaney referred to scripture that I have read many times and never thought about it in this context. Psalm 139:16 says, " Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them." This passage tells me that even before my children (or myself for that matter) were formed God knew whom their parents would be. He ordained it! It was his desire that I'm David and Angela's mom. This is also confirmed in Acts 17:26 "And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings . . ." The family we were placed in was prearranged by God before creation was! God knew exactly what he was doing when he placed them in my care. He set it up and he will guide me to raise them. They are his perfect choice for me. God has ordained our relationship.

Tell Your Children You Love Them Every Day

There are times as a mother that I feel guilty about the why my children perceive my actions or words. I'm sure I am not alone in this. Raising two beautiful children (one already a teenager and the other a tweenager) is not an easy task. It is in fact a joy to and a blessing to have the responsibility of raising two wonderful children. I just pray that my children know I love them and want what is best for them. But I also pray for myself that the words I speak to my children will be spoken in love.

I was reminded again this morning that we are not promised tomorrow. Make sure that each day you have with your child that they know you love them, even in the times you are disciplining them.