In thinking about love, Dave thought a lot about marriage. For years, he had studied Ephesians, in which Paul somewhat problematically describes marriage, saying, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." His sisters found this directive sexist, but Dave argued that it does not, in fact, give the man the upper hand.
"I think people misinterpret it," he says. "It talks about the woman being submissive to the man, but it also talks about the husband loving his wife as much as Christ loves the church. The man should give his life for his wife. It talks about how you should leave your mom and dad and cleave to your spouse." It is this idea, of marriage as a mutual cleaving, that sustains him.
"If I didn't have that as a core value, I don't know what would keep me fighting the battle. Without something that gives me some higher reason, I would probably lose a lot of the strength that I have."
Love alone, he thinks, wouldn't be enough to keep him committed to Diana. He likes to argue this point with their daughter, who feels that she's witnessing a different, more transcendental love. "Being a woman," she says, "you think of your knight in shining armor, and you think of all these dreamy metaphors growing up. But you start to learn a different principle of love when you see this -- that marriage goes beyond fairy tale love."
The article "The Vow" is a beautiful, grace filled example of how God intends for a marriage to be.
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