Coaching Soccer

After coaching Weeball in the spring and enjoying that experience so much I volunteered to coach Soccer. I've served on the board as Treasurer for the past 5 years and only this year even considered coaching. I'm coaching the under 5 kids and loving it as much I loved coaching Weeball. The only difference is I know more about baseball than I do soccer, but I have a great 12 year old assistant coach!

Dear Angela,

Seventeen years ago you came into my life and changed it so totally that I cannot image it without you. You fill my days with every emotion from pleasure and pride to anger and impatience. But most of all you fill each day with your presence, and even when you are away you are in my brain and heart.

It is so hard to watch you grow up, but I feel you are doing a very good job of it. Each year I have seen you change and you are showing all the characteristics and character of a fine young woman. People always tell me how charming and funny you are, how wonderful you look and how interesting you are to talk to -- I am glad to hear these compliments -- but I can see them for myself. There are many minutes, hours, days, when you are a very difficult teenager to live with -- but that is to be expected. Your emotions are always "up front", both the good and the bad. They always will be. That is who you are.

You have a wonderful quality of independence that I value and respect. You are an astounding and confusing mix of willingness to try new things and fear of failing at the every day parts of life. That will change with maturity as you see yourself succeeding and learn to trust yourself. You will make mistakes, fail at things, hurt yourself in a multitude of ways, everyone does, but the power to achieve is in every fiber of you and the will to get what you want will push you past the fear of rejection and failure. I have never been a risk taker and it has limited me in ways you probably cannot see. You must be willing to take risks - the pain of failing passes quicker then the regret of not trying.

Every year you get stronger emotionally as well as physically and I hope you see a little bit more of the wonderful qualities that those of us who love you have seen since you were a baby. You have such a heart for others. I think back to our time in Nicaragua and how you wanted to bring one little boy home with you because you thought he would have more opportunity in the States. You were his friend while we were there; you stopped to play with him every day and always had a smile for him. I also think back to the time when we held a special prayer meeting for our dear friend David Bond and how you prayed straight from you heart without fear and with tears streaming down your face. Everyone was amazed that a child your age could pray the way you did that day. have always been a person with a good heart, and that is a qualityyou have that I value above all. Eventually we all learn to read and write and drive and cook and hold a job, but we cannot "learn" a good heart.

Perhaps now a good time to stop and assess -- look back to where you have come from, to see who you were and who you are -- before plunging forward into adulthood, with all of its challenges and responsibilities. It is a time when parents can still try to protect the child in you since you are still permitted to act like a child, but you can safely assert your independence - parents still love their most obnoxious teenagers.

So today is special, and you are special. Not just because you are my daughter, but because you are a unique individual and one that I respect and enjoy being with. It gives me great pleasure to know that God chose me to be your mother. You have many talents and gifts (sports, drawing, writing, etc.) I love seeing you use those talents. And you have taste, lots of it. And you are tenacious when you want something and you use words so well. As a young person you have figured out how to talk to people -- almost instinctive in your "people skills". All these qualities are sometimes covered over by anger and shouting and frustration and impulse, but as you mature you will get more control and channel those intense emotions more productively. This is a natural process too, just like thinking your parents are godlike, then morons, then boring, then wise.

So take this day and reflect and then go forward. Make this a better place for yourself and those who love you. Happy Birthday!

First Day as a Junior

I'm slightly prejudice, however, I think my daughter looked absolutely stunning this morning as she walked out the day for her first day as a Junior in high school!

Insecurities, I so hate you! Spent two months going through a book that was about overcoming our insecurities and still I am clinging to them. You'd think I could just get over it already. Just when I think I'm doing good - bam you raise your ugly head and take control again.

Relationships are the biggest arena for my insecurities to show up. I'll be going along just fine and dandy - bam the voices begin to whisper "you aren't good enough, you've got to be kidding yourself." And they get louder and louder. Until it's the only voice I hear.

I have a tendency to push for more than the one I'm in a relationship with is willing or ready to give. It's always been a downfall in my relationships thus far. I recognize when I'm doing it, but it's like I can't control it no matter how hard I try. A lot of that is insecurity and I realize that.

I also realize that I am free in expressing my feelings and expect others to be the same way. It's annoying, I'm sure, and can feel smothering to the one on the other side of the relationship. When I fall, I fall hard and want that from the one I am with.

So what's wrong with me? Why can't I just be satisfied with where things are and take it one day at a time? Why do I constantly expect more?

Oh to just be able to figure it out and defeat the insecurities before they raise the voices start.

Apopka Weekend by the numbers

11 - number of boys on the team
3 - number of awesome coaches
6 - hours spent driving round trip
6 - people sleeping in our hotel room
2 - hours spent in the pool and hot tub combined
10 - bags packed into the van
8 - hot and sticky hours spent at the baseball field
2 - delicious classic margarita's at dinner on Saturday night
1 - awesome man that I had the privilege of spending the weekend with
15 minutes spent laughing after the kids gave their dad a wedgie and put him in the "babysitter".
6 - people in the hot tub
500+ pictures taken at the baseball fields
zero number of pictures taken of me and my awesome man.
Immeasurable number of hours fun had by all.
Zero number of games won.

Catching Up

Wow! Hard to believe that it's been so long since I posted on the blog. Guess that is what happens we you become addicted to Facebook. So what has happened in the life of the Fountain's since the last post. . .

David took a much needed vacation to Atlanta. He has always wanted to go to Turner Field and watch the Braves play on their home field. He had a great week watching baseball games, touring Turner Field, visiting the Aquarium and getting sick from tasting all the different flavors of Coke at the World of Coke.

Angela is out of school for the summer and is content sitting at home chilling. She wants a summer job and has applied at various places in town, but with the economy as it is she hasn't had any luck. But at least the house stays clean and the laundry isn't piled up on the weekends for me to do. She's been a champ doing chores for me!

I've finished my first season of coaching Wee-Ball and already am looking forward to coaching the little ones again next year. I'm having a party for the team on Thursday to give them their trophies and get one last hug. I didn't think I would miss them as much as I do. We finished a week of VBS at church last night. I leave this afternoon for weekend of baseball in Apopka, Florida. The Clewiston Recreation's 14 year old boys will be competing in the Triple Crown High Heat Allstar tournament on Saturday and Sunday (pictures to follow). Most weekends of late I can be found at a baseball field cheering for my significant other's son.

Photo Shoot # 2

I had the privilege on Sunday afternoon of taking pictures for my good friend Liz's daughter, Tanya and her boyfriend, Trevor. They are expecting a baby boy on May 25. These are a few of my favorites.

Mother's Day & Graduation

My sister and dad came down on Thursday to visit. It was such a wonderful treat to have them here for Mother's Day and for David's graduation from Palm Beach State College. It was a pretty laid back weekend.

On Sunday evening the five of us drove to Lightys in Lake Port for a delicious seafood dinner and to celebrate Mother's Day.

(The kids & I on Mother's Day)

(My dad and his favorite daughter)

(My kids with their Aunt Fredia)

(My dad with his two girls)

(My dad and my sister)

(My dad and kids)

We are all so proud of David's accomplishments! He graduated with a 3.75 GPA and got his Associates of Arts Degree in Business. His plans right now are to work full time( provided he can find a full time position), figure out where he wants to continue his education and save some more money to help finance his education. He is the first "Fountain" to graduate from college.

First Family Photo Shoot Part II

My first family photo shoot went exceptionally well (all things considered). This family was just so precious and so patient with me. I meet with Brandi today to show her the pictures and am praying that she will be pleased with the results.

First Family Photo Shoot

I'm so excited to have the opportunity this Sunday afternoon to do a photo shoot of a family here in town. We will be taking pictures in the City Park and at the Golf Course. Praying that they will be happy with the results.

First Wee Ball Game - Gooo Bravesss!!!!

Opening Ceremonies

It's that time of year again. . . Baseball season!!! Angela and David are too old to play recreational sports anymore, but that hasn't kept me from being involved. The city recreation department is intending to take over all recreational sports within the city, with baseball and softball being in the first one. This year they have 500 kids ranging between the ages of 4 - 16 registered. I was approached about coaching a wee-ball team (4 year olds) and have been thrilled thus far that I excepted the challenge.

On Saturday we had opening ceremonies and it was such fun to see the kids and their parents having a great time. The younger kids played a scrimmage game consisting of 1 inning while the older kids participated in softball and baseball clinics.
My little guys and girls had so much fun being out on the field and they did a great job. Tonight is our very first official game and I am looking forward to it and the other nine games of the season. The kids are such a joy to coach and there is no such thing as a "bad practice". . . who could not help but laugh at them (even when they aren't listening). It is such a blessing to be able to give my time to the youth of our community.

Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,
Cast off that I might be brought in,
Trodden down as an enemy that I might be welcomed as a friend,
Surrendered to hell's worst that I might attain heaven's best,
Stripped that I might be clothed,
Wounded that I might be healed,
Athirst that I might drink,
Tormented that I might be comforted,
Made a shame that I might inherit glory,
Entered darkness that I might have eternal light.
My Savior wept that all tears might be wiped from my eyes,
Groaned that I might have endless song,
Endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
Bore a thorny crown that I might have a glory-diadem,
Bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
Experienced reproach that I might receive welcome,
Closed his eyes in death that I might gaze on unclouded brightness,
Expired that I might for ever live.
O Father, who spared not thine only Son that thou mightest spare me,
All this transfer thy love designed and accomplished;
Help me to adore thee by lips and life.
- Puritan prayer, from The Valley of Vision

Walls We Build

Imagine a wall that is so impenetrable, much like a bullet proof vest. Not like the wall at a bank that separates you from the tellers but an unseen wall that protects your mind and soul.

Many of you know exactly what I am talking about, the wall you build to protect your heart and soul from emotional destruction, not just love relationships but friendships also. It's hard to say how or when the wall begins, but over time it gets taller, thicker and more and more impenetrable. Things like crying are looked upon as weak or a vulnerability that is not afforded. To the outside world you are one tough cookie but in reality you are sensitive and hurt easily but never allow the world to see that.

The wall helps to keep you just the right distance away from your emotions. It keeps you from allowing others to reach out to you due to your reluctance to open your heart. Many times we talk about wanting more intimacy in our lives but just when we get what we want we somehow sabotage ourselves. We are afraid to fall too fast because the more we trust someone the easier it is for him or her to break our heart. There are times when we get tired of being strong and holding up this wall.

This intimacy with another allows us to be vulnerable, implying that we may get hurt. Although it is safe within the wall it gets very lonely with nobody they allow in. Eventually these walls become too high for you to climb over and you become a prisoner of your own doing.

Trust is not an easy thing. Friends come and go, boyfriend/girlfriends come and go; it hurts each time. Do we really want to do it all over again, break down the wall just to have to rebuild it?

The strongest base for a relationship is a good friendship with honesty, communication and genuineness. If you find someone who proves these to you it helps to break down barriers. Who do you trust though? Can the wall be broken? Can you trust enough to break down that wall?

Ok, so one day you break down the wall, can it stay down? Will the smallest thing make you buy all the mortar and bricks and build a new wall bigger and better, one that makes the Great Wall of China look like a backyard fence? The saying goes "The hardest thing is loving someone and having the courage to let them love you back" What do you think? Do you have a wall? If you had one, how did you break it down?

Insecurities - Leave Me Alone!

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." Proverbs 31:25

A friend and I have been reading and discussing Beth Moore's most recent book "So Long Insecurity". I have enjoyed our discussion immensely. It's no surprise that this book hits home more than I care to admit and facing those insecurities have brought me to my knees in prayer on numerous occasions. I'm beginning to realize that insecurity is sure sign of unbelief!

The scripture above is one that Beth brought out in Chapter 8 and I find myself clinging to this verse when insecurity rears its ugly head. I tend to put on the "tough girl" act but deep down inside I battle daily with insecurities and to be honest I am so tired of it. It has been comforting to know that I'm not the only one and to actually have someone that I can talk to about those insecurities is such a blessing from God.

One of the biggest insecurities in my life deal with relationships. I'm horrible at relationships. Relationships are a struggle for me in that I constantly doubt myself. Some of the crazy things will trigger my insecurity. Things like. . .

1. Getting an offhanded comment from a person who has teeny stench of superiority about him/her.
2. My girlfriends go out and don't invite me.
3. I get a three line response to an email that took me an hour to write.
4. I pour out my heart to someone and they just don't get it.
5. I catch my significant other looking/talking to another woman (she might be a friend or a stranger)

The list could go on and on. Needless to say when the insecurities come, so does stupid behavior and then desire to give myself a swift kick in the behind. Oh to be rid of the insecurities!

A Heart Problem

"For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34)

The thoughtless and malicious use of the truth can be as devastating to others and to our witness as outright and intentional dishonesty, not to mention what it does to our spiritual life. Truth can be used as a weapon to hurt someone. Simply because something is true does not mean it should be repeated. Unnecessarily repeating a truth about someone can destroy their faith in people (especially within the body) and cause them to withdraw from the church fellowship. In Matthew 12:34, Jesus says the words we use reveal the condition of our hearts, which is his primary concern. He is interested in what we say and do, but he's more interested in the motives behind them. Before we say anything about someone, we should follow THINK. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? And, is it kind?

From time to time, I've been guilty of telling something about another that person that, although true, caused terrible pain (and the sad part is I got some sort of perverse joy from it). In an effort to rid my life of this sin, I've had to think about ways that Satan can tempt us to misuse truth in hurtful and destructive ways.

A friend may tell me something about herself in confidence, but I find the temptation to share this information with some one else irresistible. I've violated the confidence of a friend and used a truth to destroy a relationship, perhaps forever.

I may have witnessed the stumbling of a fellow Christian who has fallen into sin. As a fellow believer, what should be my attitude toward that person? As Jesus modeled forgiveness, kindness, and redemption for the woman caught in adultery, I should love and pray for that person and seek to help him/her repent of their sin and return to a Godly lifestyle. I should never shoot the wounded, but help them to heal.

I've been know to pride myself in "telling it like it is." But, there is a huge difference in telling it like it is and being pure, holy, and edifying in my speech. Sometimes telling it like it is may not please God. I don't have to say it just because it is true. I don't have to share that juicy morsel of gossip just because it turns out to be fact. My words reveal what I am really like deep down in my heart. An apple tree doesn't produce grapes and a grapevine doesn't produce apples. If I'm walking close to Christ, my wholesome speech will be the fruit of that relationship. Words of kindness and hurtful words should never come from the same mouth. If I have an untamed tongue (and I do at times), it is because I have an impure heart.

The heart of the problem is a problem of the heart. Let's pray that God will give us hearts and minds modeled after Jesus and make a commitment to never us the truth to damage someone ever again. Being careful about what we say and how we say it is a sign of Christian maturity. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."(Ephesians 4:29)

Spring Training

We traveled to Lakeland on Monday for the Braves/Tiger Spring Training game. It was a beautiful day for baseball. It's always a joy watching David at a game. The boy could seriously eat, drink, and breathe baseball.





L